How Can We NOT Like Trump? Easy!

I have read and heard alleged American human beings state “I like Donald Trump. He tells it like it is.” I feel so lost when I hear or read this sort of thing. To list the stupid, baffling, inaccurate, childish things Trump says would result in a War and Peace sized volume, growing endlessly. I talk to people, many Republicans and don’t find any Trump fans. I can’t find anyone who feels anything but slight head-shaking humor about the guy. I have included just a few snippets of Trump’s telling it like it is, or at least what it is to him.

Thank God the election is only 445 days away!

1 “I have a great relationship with the blacks.”

2 “The beauty of me is I’m very rich.”

3 “All of the women on “The Apprentice” flirted with me-consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected”.

4 “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

5 “You know, it really doesn’t matter what (the media) write as long as you’ve got a beautiful piece of ass.”

6 “I’m a really smart guy.”

7.”I’ll tell you, it’s Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business. Or two words – Big Business.”

8 “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

How Can We NOT Like Trump? Easy!

Are You Satisfied?

Help me understand if this  is just me or you have experienced this as well. These are recent experiences but have occurred multiple times over the years, monthly, even weekly.

I had trouble with my laptop recently connecting with the internet. A day earlier I had a question regarding my auto  insurance. In the past I have had multiple experiences with my bank, the city or county, the newspaper, etc. Various issues caused me to contact various companies and service providers for assistance. Actually what I did figuratively is call out for HELP!!!!

In almost every occasion the person / people I talked with were able to understand my problem, provide a resolution and make my annoyance disappear. My experience for the most part has been very positive. The IRS, local government agencies, utilities all have been very helpful. Virtually every experience has ended with my satisfaction. UNTIL:

As we finish the problem solution part of our talk the person on the line will ask something like: “have I solved your problem?”. I am OK with that. Not so much with ” are you delighted with the service I have provided?” Yeah, I guess, not sure how delighted I am, but yeah. Are we a little insecure here? Here is the  fingernails on the chalk board: “would you mind taking our customer survey? That is used to assess my performance.” In other words: Please take this survey. If you don’t or are critical I could lose my job and become homeless. Just take the survey, I figured out how to help you even  though your room temperature IQ makes me marvel that you are able to turn on your lights!

OK, so I agree to take the survey, on line or on the phone. The survey goes on and on and on. Then it goes on some more. The questions posed are NOT those that target customers like me. The questions are obviously those that a survey provider  would ask. I often hang up or click off halfway through the survey.

After having my problem solved and being completely satisfied I take a survey that 1) takes more time than solving the problem took AND 2) is much more confusing and annoying than the problem was in the first place. End condition is that I am so annoyed by the survey and endless questions I will NEVER TAKE A SURVEY AGAIN !!!!!

Other than that I am completely satisfied and delighted.

Are You Satisfied?

Who Are These Guys?

They are potential Presidents of The United State, that’s who! Something called The Southern Republican Leadership Conference held a gathering in Oklahoma City a short while ago. During this combined bake sale / picnic a number of Republican “candidates” held a kind of barking festival. Actually twelve candidates showed up. Don’t be impressed, that is barely over half those in the race. If the Republican primary was a horse race they would need two starting gates. And lots of guys with shovels.

As happens at these gatherings a straw poll was held. A straw poll is a pretend election testing the preference of the attendees. In this case 958 of 2,000 attendees actually did vote. If you went to Oklahoma City (on the way to nowhere) and they held an election wouldn’t you at least check a box? What these straw polls really do is get some unwarranted but free publicity. The results themselves as less meaningful than your fifth grade class election. And the candidates here were significantly less qualified, for anything. In the interest of balance (who cares about that?) here is a look at the top three.

First of all the results: Some guy named Ben Carson won!!!! He received 25% of the vote. The second and third finishers were Scott Walker (21%) and Ted Cruz (17%). Really! These are your leaders. All  I know about Walker is he hacked revenue, threw the Wisconsin budget out of balance by a billion or two and is taking responsible action. Like reducing the University system by $300 million AND skipping 2015 bond payments of $100-$200 million. Skipping bond payments? That is kind of like default, right? NAH, no big deal. 191 people in Oklahoma City know what they are doing. Ted Cruz….never mind. Carson is interesting, a little. He states that more doctors and scientists should  be in politics. He thinks science needs to be a big part of the process. Oh really? Well the party of “The jury is still out on evolution and climate change” may be slow to embrace that. Carson also feels it is ridiculous that companies make profit from health insurance.

All these candidates have two things very much in common: They are very well educated AND they completely baffle me. As Butch Cassidy said to Sundance, “Who are those guys?”

Who Are These Guys?

Seattle Scumbags

At risk of dealing with a serious, important issue I pose the following question: In drafting Frank Clark is the Seahawk front office impersonating scumbags or are thy indeed scumbags? Per the holy grail of word stuff, The Urban Dictionary, a scumbag is                       A person of poor judgement and no class. Probably giving the Hawks too much credit, I think the front office doesn’t care. If he could play lock down one on one D I think the Hawks would sign Jack The Ripper in a heartbeat.

Frank Clark is a football player. A very good one. He apparently clocked a woman, his girlfriend in a hotel room. The alleged victim was bruised and found on the floor at the end of the event. Witnesses including the victim claimed she was hit, choked and generally mistreated. Police were called, reports were made, charges filed and plea accepted. When the smoke cleared Clark plead to something south of jay walking and was allowed to return to the Cub Scout pack that is big time football. Well, he DID have to pay a $250 fine. Just for reference,I had to pay $124 for being nailed by one of those stop light cameras in downtown Renton. Good thing I didn’t punch out the camera and choke it!

Calling the Seahawk front office scumbags is probably insulting to scumbags. But as bad  (and stupid, see definition of scumbag above) as the Clark move was, the Hawks quickly made another move equally nauseating. The second move has largely been ignored, overwhelmed by the stench of drafting Clark.

Within a day or so of stepping in the Clark pile, the Hawks announced they had signed free agent long snapper Nate Boyer.  This was such a sweet story there was an immediate run on Clearasil for pimple break outs and Kleenex for tear mopping.

Nate Boyer is a 34 year old Army vet who served in combat as a Green Beret. Reports also say he was deployed as a member of the Texas Army National Guard, One or the other or both I guess. After serving he walked on at Texas as a 195 pound long snapper. He had NEVER played any organized football but coach Mack Brown knew a PR rush when he saw one and allowed the then 5’11” Boyer to give it a go. He worked hard and in a sort of Rudy light way ended up seeing a little playing time after a few seasons. Feeling good? Sure, we are, everyone loves these stories.

So the Seahawks decide to sign this guy. Did the Hawks talk to this guy, work him out, ever show any interest in him? No, no and no. The Hawks back ground check into Boyer was roughly equal to the effort they put into investigating the Clark “incident”.  How did the Hawks explain this obvious half-inch deep PR move?

“You fall in love, through the process, with guys,” Hawks GM Schneider told reporters . “Through a good friend of mine I’ve become very aware of who this guy is at his core, and everything that he represents. … he represents a lot of really, really cool things that quite frankly I think would be really good for a lot of us to be around.” Wow, was he talking about draftees/signees in general or just this guy?

The Hawks, like most NFL teams have a long snapper, Clint Gresham. He has been with Seattle for five seasons. He probably plays a little special teams and backs up a few spots. I am sure he is enamored with this feel good move by his bosses. Our country is full of hundreds, even thousands of vets who have played football. Some with talent, would love the opportunity Boyer is getting.

This kind of opportunity can present itself every time an NFL team does something as idiotic as the Hawks just did. You other long snappers, just go find another scumbag team out there. They aren’t hard to find.

Seattle Scumbags

Ultimate Fighting Penalizes Champ!

WOW!!! All I can say is WOW!. And, Hey NFL, are you watching this?

Mixed Martial Arts champ Jon “Bones” Jones was stripped of his light-heavyweight title after his arrest in New Mexico for hit-and-run. Per the UFC announcement, Jones’ behavior violated the organization’s athlete code of conduct and is the latest in a “string of misbehavior” for Bones.

C”MON!!!!  This guy is an Ultimate Fighting Champion. What misbehavior? I will tell you what misbehavior. This UFC is a tight, well run, honorable, moral operation. Here is just a sample of the many in-ring actions NOT tolerated, that result in penalties and even suspensions:

Head butting

Eye gouging of ANY kind

Biting

Spitting on an opponent (I guess it’s OK to spit elsewhere)

Hair pulling

Groin attacks of ANY kind

Small joint manipulation (large joints are fair game)

Kicking to the kidney with a heel (kicking non heels is OK)

Kicking the head of a grounded opponent

Holding the shorts of an opponent

Using abusive language

It just goes on and on. I have never understood the attraction the UFC provides its many fans. But at least I now understand that this is a clean operation with honorable, moral combatants.  If the NFL held to this same set of standards they would run out of players by Halloween.

Ultimate Fighting Penalizes Champ!

I Still Don’t Get It

When sharing things I don’t get I could go on forever. Or at least for a long time. I hear this in the press box at the start of a Mariners game. But we ALL hear it often pertaining to any weather report.

At the start of the game, right after the first pitch the press box PA guy gives us several VITAL bits of information. I can only assume that our listeners and, readers would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West without this data. We are told right after the first pitch the exact time, temperature and wind strength and direction. How this is delivered is slightly more intriguing than the info itself. Today, Sunday we were told:

“First pitch time 1:12, that’s one one two”

“Temperature 56 degrees, that’s five six”

“Winds are calm” This is NOT followed by “that’s zero miles per hour”.

I am not going to belabor the number repeats on the time and temp. Unless the game is real late or real early and the day is real hot or cold nobody really cares. And I know at the bottom of box scores this vital data is provided. It is as necessary as umpire names

But help me understand the wind reports. I know it is important. The wind blowing out in any ball park makes a difference. But “calm”? what does it mean when we are told winds are calm? I will tell you what it means.

It means there is NO WIND! If the wind is not blowing, it is NOT calm, there is no wind! If the noise is so soft you can’t hear it, the nose is not soft or quiet. There is no noise!

There is no such thing as calm winds. There is wind and there is no wind! It’s just one more thing I don’t get.

I Still Don’t Get It